Honestly some days I just want to punch everyone that breathes. This world is full of stupid people, why is that? Why is there no common sense in this world, why are people such assholes? Why am I always so angry? I’ll tell you why…….MENOPAUSE!!! Men, you may not want to read this post because it’s crazy lady stuff, but I feel I need to get my emotions on the page or I just might bloody explode! Yes I am a woman of Faith but that doesn’t mean I am not human, it means I feel the exact same crap that non believers feel, it means I have the same human body as non believing women have and boy don’t I have those emotions.
Some days just start off wrong, it’s like ok you had a good day yesterday lets balance things out and make today total crap. Ok yeah, lets do that! Menopause is that silent thief I think the Bible talks about, I am almost certain the devil has disguised himself as menopause. Ladies over 45 you get me hey. Some days my husband just has to look at me the wrong way and I instantly turn into a psychopath plotting his demise! Other times that same look won’t even register and I could care less. Some days when we are out doing farm work I want to run him over with the buggy and other days it’s like a leisurely Sunday drive in the country. Thank goodness he has been with me our whole lives so he is used to me and knows it’s just my hormones or he probably would have flown the coop but the other fortunate thing is we are super busy, especially him, and I am the least of his worries, night time he just cant wait to go to sleep, probably to get away from me lol!
I can’t remember the last time I was normal, I can’t even define normal most days, I don’t remember being truly happy in my heart, these days the only time I am truly happy is when we are eating junk food, how bloody sad is that! I estimate I have been going through this nearly 8 years now and it is gradually getting worse. I use essential oils around the clock because honestly I would not be as good as I am today without them. I can still function and I still have hopes and dreams, and I still have a heart to help women less fortunate than me, and I can still operate this family of mine, but some days the irritations are just so great that I want to pack it all in. The overwhelm nearly chokes me and the weight of it all feels like it could break my back.
On a positive note though, I am healthy, I have an amazing husband of 37 years, I have awesome children and grandchildren, we have a great job and we live in a country where freedom is our right, we have food on the table every night, we have fresh clean water, we have a roof over our heads and we serve a God who is bigger than all of it. I would say they are pretty good reasons to get over myself and soldier on!!