Shit that is….Do you ever have days, weeks or even months where everything just seems to be a big pile of crap? I feel like I am going through that season once again, more crap and for something different even more crap. For those of you who are believers, we know that God brings us through the other side, he doesn’t wave his magic wand and poof we have no more crap, he just equips us with strength and the ability to cope through it, but shit….can I just cut a break and have a few months of NO CRAP please!
Farming is tough, the drought is tougher, everyone is feeling it, even those in town, albeit not as much as we feel it. My hubby is running 14+ hours a day these days and it’s tough on him. He’s just done 21 days straight and no relief in sight, I guess that’s what happens when you work for rich people who know you need the job. There are good things but the crap is outweighing them at the moment. It’s calving season right now and in the last week we have lost 2 cows and 2 calves. One cow was a prolapse cow who’s calf died during birth, she got nerve damage and there was nothing the vet could do so she had to be euthanized, another cow jumped a gate and broke her leg, she had to be euthanized, and if we want to be real, which this blog is, euthanized means shoot. Next we had a cow give birth but her teats were way too big for the calf to suck on, so we put the cow in the yards, milked her and then bottle fed the baby, trouble is the calf was already dehydrated by the time we found him and they never usually recover, so he died. All that in a week. The work load is massive, but the pay doesn’t go up, I guess we get blessed in other ways.
We also have some pretty major family stuff going on this week and when it’s your children, its super stressful! Yesterday our day off was full on, trying to get stuff done around the house, trying to get the jobs done on farm that should really be done in work hours but there is never enough time, and not getting in until dark and then inside stuff has to start argh! It seems stupid to be whingeing about such stupid crap doesn’t it, people all over the world are going through much worse, and I do remind myself of that daily and it brings me back into line, but when overwhelm takes over you need to have a day to swear, bitch and eat crap food so you can start afresh the next day LOL! That’s what I have found anyway.
As a praying woman, I always repent of not behaving according to scripture but you know what? God knows before we do, He gives us Grace in times such as these if we ask Him for it. He is always there, we just have to call Him and if I swear and carry on, He isn’t going to send me to the pit of hell, He is just going to say “it’s ok, lets try this again” to me that’s comforting and reassuring that I’m not perfect but He is ok with that.
These times will get better, but bloody hell it’s tough to walk through and man I would hate to do this crap as an unbeliever!